During our off season I have found myself very bored. I took up walking long distances for no damn reason. I think people call this "hiking.” I began my journey through The Bronx and then 12 miles later I ended up in the county of Westchester.
After my long walk to the middle of nowhere my legs felt like linguini, but I also felt like Bruce Wayne in Batman Begins when he traveled through snowy mountains all for a pretty flower. (Did you notice Bruce had no signs of frostbite or dehydration by the way? Movie nonsense I say!) When I made my trek I was insane with thirst and I swore I saw the Riddler gliding by me... it wasn't. It was just an old man with a green shirt on a bicycle.
I know that there are these so called real-life heroes like Phoenix Jones and villains like that red velvet cupcake guy, but after this day I became one with nature, as well as traumatized by it. I became NATURE MAN! I conquered 12 miles of trail with my feet! I tackled streams and annoying pebbles that get stuck inside your flip flops. I dare these real-life super people to come mess with me. I shall smite them with vegetation, foliage and other shit.
This post was written by Angelo Asencio.
